The Whinery

[moltenfire]

We're doomed, doomed, DOOMED! According to the EW thread we're heading to 360 or lower! Value investors won't start looking at this stock until the PE is 5.5-6 or lower, which means a PPS of $230! EPS is surely going down this year, PO said so, and iPhone market share is already contracting! Apple is not cool anymore! Nobody crowds around the iPhone table at the Apple Store! All the cool kids are saying buy Samsung 6 inch phones! The iPhone 5S will be more of the same boring stuff, and can't stop the Samsung juggernaut! Sell, sell, SELL, before AAPL breaches 400 on its way to the three hundreds! All the FUD was right, Apple is the new RIMM, and Samsung is the new AAPL! My net worth went from $465k to $110k in 4 months, and will be below $100k next week! I keep putting in thousands of dollars a day in order to avoid margin calls, I can't do this anymore! I'd actually lose less money giving away brand new unlocked 64GB iPhone 5s to random people than keeping AAPL stock and seeing it fall! Was supposed to buy a condo next year with the money from AAPL but will be moving back to my parents' house instead because I can't even afford rent now! Oh, the horror, the horror! My Jan 2013 options went from being worth as much as a nice BMW to being worth as much as a bike, and I mean a peddle bike not a motorcycle! The sky is falling down on Apple, I'm chicken little but I screamed too late! All the pundits were right when they said Apple's glory days are over as soon as they started building their new spaceship campus! Apple will do nothing right ever again, no one can negotiate as good as Steve Jobs so there will be no Apple TV! Tim Cook is not a product guy, Scott Forstall was fired and Jony Ive can't present for beans (that's why he's always only appears in a video) so all future Apple events will be boring as hell, and without Steve Jobs Apple will be left wandering in the desert until it's the new HP! WAAAAH! WAAAAH! *crying*

Sorry I need to get this off my chest It was quite fun to write, and this is the whinery after all

Please don't ignore or smite me over this post, this is the Whinery!

[tuffett]

I've been holding it in for too long. Here goes. Sorry to anyone I offend.

- Why the fuck has the number of outstanding shares increased? Piss poor cash management, piss poor decision making. What exactly is Oppenheimer being paid to do, besides confuse everyone in the most important earnings call in recent memory? Buy back some fucking shares. And by some, I mean a lot. If the CFO is more concerned about products instead of cash management, investor relations and what to do with an obscene amount of cash, I don't want him around.

- Management needs to stop playing cute and acting special. Apple is a publicly traded company and earnings calls are for investors, not consumers. When you're talking about earnings, I don't give two shits about your laser focus on making products. Start talking about how you are going to support the stock and provide value for investors.

- Stop guiding huge YoY declines and claiming they are more accurate. Unless of course it is true, in which case things are going to get even uglier.

- Why in the hell is a two year old phone (iPhone 4) in supply constraint for an entire quarter? I completely understand iPhone 5 supply issues, but this?! Samsung is easily able to sell far more smartphones and ten times as many models. What gives? Tim Cook, how about living up to your supply chain master handle instead of supply chain moron?

- Get a deal done with China Mobile. Your margins are already slipping anyway, might as well lock up a chunk of China before it's too late.

- Why is a guy who placed 67th out of 68 polled analysts acting like he is God's gift to Earth and threatening to ignore people? Does he honestly think anybody cares? Internal numbers, P/C ratios - I can't wait to see what he comes up with next before proceeding to insult or ignore everyone who doesn't agree. Biggest ego on the board and building a stellar track record of epic failure. Funny how that works.